In this entry Mike writes about being bullied by five-year-olds in a Tokyo Community Centre
The Japanese are a kind and respectful people. It’s probably one of the few stereotypes of
Japanese people that hold any weight.
So would it really be that naive to assume that their children would be anything but angelic
role models for kids around the world to emulate? Well, yes. Yes it would.
I like working with kids and had worked in a few nurseries growing up, so was happy to
be chosen for the gap year placement at a community centre in Tokyo, which included a
nursery school and after school club.
I don’t know why I expected Japanese children to be the way I did. Some ill-informed people
seem to think that the only Japanese food is sushi and that samurai still wander the streets
of Japan. I was equally stupid, if a little less delusional. I saw myself being a breath of
fresh air for the kids. I’d encourage them to come out of the shells they’d no doubt be in,
show them that it was OK to make noise and act up sometimes. I needn’t have worried, my
encouragement was far from necessary.
I got my first wake up call in the nursery. There I spent most of my mornings outside with the
kids in the playground. These normally started with me failing to engage them in an activity
before accepting that, once again, they were happier putting live ants on me. When that got
boring a slight variation was to kill the ants and put them in my hair. And when they couldn’t
find any ants, they’d just throw dirt on me. Over time all that really changed was the variety
of bugs that ended up in my hair. Any attempts to engage with them resulted in my crude
Japanese being mocked. I’d help serve them lunch and then sit with them. I was always
proud of the way I was able to unite all the children sitting at my table in a common cause.
Unfortunately, that cause was normally the ritual putting down and humiliation of me. As well
as my personal hygiene being brought into question (they’d tell me I smelt) I was also often
called “stupid (baka)” and a “hippo (kaba)”, and occasionally a baka kaba. Despite the
relentless nature of the abuse, the children were mostly aged between 4 and 5 and so there
wasn’t much venom in their attacks.
By the time they were old enough to join the after school club they’d really honed their skills.
Most of the first 50 or so words I learnt in Japan were ones abusively uttered in my direction
from the mouths of the kids there. As those attending were anything up to about 13, it took a
lot more effort to win them over.
I used to do my best to mix with all age groups and spread my time fairly. But there were a
few who didn’t like sharing, one boy refused to let anyone else join our games of football.
Obviously in a hall full of kids who all wanted me to play different things, this didn’t go down
well. “Michael’s not your thing” a girl sternly told him one day, I would have been touched
that she was looking out for me had she not added “he’s everybody’s thing!”.
That boy was one of the most challenging there. When he didn’t get his own way he’d often
scratch, kick or bite me. One day after patiently trying to negotiate with him, he spat in my
face. I lost it and stormed towards the room where the teachers were. As I slammed open
the door with him under one arm I was met by his rather concerned looking dad, who’d just
arrived to pick him up. Realising I didn’t have the Japanese to even begin to explain the
situation, I spent the next 5 minutes awkwardly flapping about trying to mime out what had
happened.
The most disturbing of all the kids’ behaviour though, was ‘kanchou’. The literal translation is
something along the lines of ‘prank where the anal region of a distracted person is poked
with index fingers.’ Yes, it’s literally as messed up as it sounds, and yet I never saw a child
reprimanded for doing this. I knew that the performance which would have been required to
effectively explain the inappropriateness of this behaviour was way beyond my miming
abilities. While I understand there’ll always be cultural differences, maybe it’s a good idea
that the lines not to be blurred when teaching kids about touching other people. Perhaps
then incidents of groping on trains wouldn’t get to the point where women-only carriages
were a necessity. But I digress.
I in no way think kids in Japan are any worse behaved than anywhere else’s kids. They’re
just no better either. So, and it may seem stupidly obvious to say, it turns out kids will be
kids wherever they live in the world, even if they do eventually become polite and passive
adults with an unhealthy respect for authority.
-Konjac was introduced to Japan from China over 2000 years ago as a traditional medicine.
- Konjac products started being consumed in Japan over 1,500 years ago.
- Although the konjac plant is also know as Devil’s Tongue yam, research has found no link between the consumption of shirataki noodles and demonic possession. (Note: this research does not actually exist.)
- In Japanese “shirataki” means “white waterfall”.
- The liquid the noodles come packed in does not make a refreshing drink. Discard this and rinse the noodles before use. Largely consisting of water and a soluble fiber called glucomannan,
- Shirataki noodles have almost no calories, fat or sugar.
- As well as aiding digestion, studies have linked the consumption of shirataki noodles with the lowering of bad cholesterol.
- Shirataki noodles may also help with weight loss and lend themselves well to any diet. Because the noodles swell once eaten, they give a feeling of fullness and can therefore reduce hunger.
- Shirataki noodles work equally well in everything from soups to stir-fries, and salads (as well as other dishes not beginning with S).
Our Workie’s last diary saw him throwing nato on his own face! This one sees him in a terrible state after a drinking contest. Karl Pilkington better watch out…
I’d spent my first year in Japan as a volunteer and, as much as I’d taken from the experience, felt like, socially at least, I’d missed out. I could count on one hand the number of nights out I had during the time I spent in Tokyo.
After returning home I bounced between jobs, ending up in a tedious admin position where I wasted a year and half of my life before coming to the realisation that, if I was no closer to knowing where I was actually going with my life, and now had savings in the bank to cover it, I might as well run away to Japan again for another year of ‘soul searching’.
So that was it. I enrolled at a language school in Tokyo and headed off to make up for all the drinking I hadn’t done the first time. It was two whole weeks after joining my new class before me and my classmates finally went out for a drink together. We’d made small talk but hadn’t socialised out of class. As most of them were Korean, we ended up going to a small Korean bar with seating enough for the 15 or so of us who turned up, but little more.
It all started well enough, the initial hour or so passed without incidence. I hadn’t offended anyone and, as I supressed the urge to start knocking drinks back as I would have at home, I reflected on how this fresh start in Japan had helped me to shake off the bad drinking habits I’d developed at home. Mere weeks had passed and yet, already, I’d clearly matured.
Moments later however I found myself in a drinking competition.
I entered this on the assumption that I would win. This, in turn, was based on two further assumptions. The first of these was that Korean people can’t drink a lot. The second was that I can. My reasoning behind the first of these was that I’d met a lot of Japanese people who couldn’t handle their drink at all. Among them, a woman who, after a SIP of her shandy, became noticeably red and complained of being dizzy and, on another occasion, a man who, after about half a pint of lager, was sufficiently drunk enough to strip off in a Karaoke box. In fairness, he might have just been a bit weird, but for obvious reasons I didn’t see him again, so can’t really comment. The reason for these reactions, however, is actually a biological one. Alcohol flush reaction affects up to 50% of people with Chinese and Japanese ancestry and for some poor souls can make drinking deeply unpleasant. In response to alcohol consumption those affected experience an accumulation of acetaldehyde. According to Wikipedia: “Acetaldehyde accumulation may be caused by a missense polymorphism that encodes acetaldehyde dehydrogenase (ALDH2), an enzyme normally responsible for breaking down acetaldehyde.” I’ll admit that I’m not wholly familiar with some of those words, and have absolutely no clue what most of the others mean, but after several readings and based on my existing understanding of the disorder, it seems like, in Lamen’s terms, the cause is something sciencey.
But while some Japanese people are among those affected, Koreans, it turns out, are not. So there I sat, quietly confident, as my new friend got us under way by adding to our beers a shot of soju. As a liquor traditionally made from rice, it could be considered the Korean equivalent of sake, except it’s stronger, closer in taste to vodka and gives your gag reflex a much better workout. We downed the concoction and he poured us another. After a few of these my confidence began to wane, especially when he started pouring us an extra shot of soju as a palette cleanser between rounds.
I think by now it was pretty evident that all assumptions I’d made were wrong.
After a few more he was still looking fine while I feared I was starting to look as bad as I felt. I don’t remember much after that but apparently the competition was soon over. Mainly because after drinking myself into a state where I was dribbling over myself and falling off my chair, my body threw in the towel. I accepted defeat graciously, by puking all over the floor of the only toilet.
The teacher we’d invited chose this point to make her entrance and, naturally shocked by the state I was in, wisely decided it was probably time for me to go home and, with the help of a classmate, escorted/carried me outside to hail me a cab. At this point I apparently sprang back to life and sprinted off down the road. After a quick search, I was found slumped in the gutter down a side alley and successfully bundled into a cab.
As far as ice-breakers go, I don’t think I could have done a much better job. For many, this might have been mortifyingly embarrassing experience, but luckily, due to my nature, I was able to drunkenly humiliate myself on such a regular basis that one shameful incident was soon forgotten and replaced with a new one.
sushisushi’s new work experience lad knows nothing about making tea in Yorkshire. What he does know though is how to look like a complete plank, while dining in Japan on a gap year. In the first of a series of diary entries from Japan, Mike writes of an embarressing incident twirling nato on chopsticks
The first time I arrived there, I didn’t know much about Japan. I’d done a few evening courses in Japanese and cockily assumed the few basic, mostly pen-related, phrases I’d picked up (“This is a pen”, “That is a pen”, “Is this a pen?” etc.) would get me by.
I’d only been at my voluntary placement a day or two when I got my first opportunity to experience a Japanese bar (Izakaya). With the jet lag still looming and having understood nothing anyone had said to me since I arrived, I was more than ready for a drink and, at 20, was just legally old enough to have one. Plus, it would be a good way to try to get to know my fellow (Japanese) volunteers in a more relaxed setting. I did contemplate taking a pen along as a prop just to ensure I’d be able to make some kind of small talk in Japanese, but decided against it when I remembered my aim wasn’t to make everyone think I was a massive dick.
It actually wasn’t as awkward as I’d expected, fuelled by Dutch courage everyone was happy to practice whatever English they knew on me, and a former volunteer from England, back for a visit, translated everything else to keep me involved.
With the mood relaxed, the time had come for my initiation test. The waiter was summoned and left with an order for natto.
Natto (or, somewhat less appetisingly, ‘fermented soybeans’) is, in terms of dividing opinion at least, the Japanese equivalent of marmite.
It arrived. I’m not easily put off by the way food looks, but I did immediately notice that the smell bore a strikingly close resemblance to stinky feet. Closer, in fact, than anything intended for human consumption ought to.
Due to the gloopy consistency of natto, I was instructed on the correct way to eat it. Once I’d picked some up I was to twirl my chopsticks around in a circular motion to catch any stringy bits that clung on.
So under the expectant gaze of everyone at the table I scooped some up and began to twirl. Perhaps it was the pressure, or it may have just been my overeagerness to impress, but I massively miscalculated the amount of effort I would need to exert in spinning my chopsticks around. Anyway, long story short, and how I managed it I’m still not quite sure, but I ended up with natto on my head.
If you remember Wacky Wallwalkers, the sticky toys you’d throw at a window and watch them walk/flop their way downwards, leaving a smudged trail of crap behind them, then you’ll be able to picture exactly the way the natto made its way down my face.
I may have salvaged some dignity in guiding it into my mouth. If I was really lucky, I thought, some people might even assume it was a party trick and actually be impressed.
Now, before my trip I read up fairly extensively on the do’s and don’ts of Japanese etiquette, especially table manners, specifically so I wouldn’t commit some grievous faux pas or humiliate myself unnecessarily. NOWHERE did I read that the accidental throwing of food onto one’s head would be greeted with looks of semi-disgust and an awkward silence. So I was genuinely surprised when I looked up to see that the only other person laughing was the other English guy.
I don’t think anyone was really that offended, but it probably didn’t make the best impression. I only hope through telling this story that I might save future travellers to Japan the social discomfort that I had to endure.
In conclusions: In Japan, food on head = bad. As opposed to England, where, err… well, there’s probably a moral in there somewhere, anyway.
Oh, and as for natto, despite everything, I really like it.
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, so I have come up with some tips and ideas (from Sushi Stu’s Love Bible TM) on how to celebrate in style, with an unforgettable, love-filled sushi evening…
Onigiri Hearts
Use an onigiri mould to make onigiri and slice to create beautiful sushi love hearts! Colour your rice with pink food colouring, top with pink salmon or with S+B 7-Spice Pepper. Cut in half and share with your loved one!
Oysters and Sushi
Oysters are a perfect partner to sushi, and are a frequent topic of interest in my love bible. Oysters are high in protein and low in fat. They are rich in zinc and contain many other minerals such as calcium, iron, copper, iodine, magnesium and selenium. They also make your partner into a raging love tank.
Fruity Japanese Gummys
When the evening is in full swing, (and Barry White is in full song) tearing open a pack of fruity, Japanese gummies is sure to ignite the fires below. Apple, Muscat, Orange, Grape and Pineapple Gummy sweets are a real tangy taste sensation, to get your senses in the mood!
Build a Heart-Shaped Platter
This one is for the less lazy amongst you (probably women) who wish to woo their sushi loving men. Make a large amount of pinky coloured maki rolls (a mix of salmon, tuna, any other pink foods) and arrange on a platter in a nice heart shape and serve. When I did that for my partner, let me tell you, there was more than the sushi in a roll… (?)
His and Hers Chopsticks
It’s all about the finer details! Blue and pink chopsticks (or pink and pink! Or blue and blue!!) make a really nice addition to the Japanese themed evening. You can even feed each other sushi, like some kind of Japanese version of Lady and the Tramp.
Check out sushisushi’s options to eat healthily in 2012
1. Brew it Green
Dump your caffeine packed tea bags for green tea. 2011 research by Oregon State University found that EGCG in green tea has a powerful ability to increase regulatory T cells in the body, boost the immune system and suppress autoimmune disorders.
2. Sprinkle Sesame On it
Sesame seeds are used in culinary as well as in traditional medicines for their nutritive, preventive, and curative properties. Its oil seeds are sources for some phyto-nutrients such as omega-6 fatty acids, flavonoid phenolic anti-oxidants, vitamins and dietary fiber with potent anti-cancer as well as health promoting properties.
3. Turn Your Sushi Brown
Yume Nishiki Super Premium brown rice has a much higher content of Vitamin B, Vitamin E, Calcium and minerals in the rice bran layer and the germ of brown rice than is contained in white rice.
4. Replace Cheese With Tofu
Mori-nu tofu is made from non-GM soyabeans, contains 0% cholesterol and is lactose free. Tofu is relatively high in protein, about 10.7% for firm tofu and 5.3% for soft “silken” tofu with about 5% and 2% fat.
5. Finish Off With a Ginger
Ginger aids digestion after sushi and cleanses the palette. There is no fat or protein in ginger and, while there are few proven facts, herbalists swear by its antioxidant, disease curing properties.
6. Try a Healthy Kombu
Lower rates of breast cancers have been reported in Japanese women eating a diet high in kelp. It is claimed that Lignans, which help to fight cancer are found in high quantity in kelp and may provide protection against certain cancers. Kombu is good for Iodine deficient individuals Seaweed can be treated as an energy booster in those who are iodine deficient and have underactive thyroids.
7. Make Your Own Nori Snacks
Cut up into strips, coat with water, add salt and bake for 10 minutes on a minimal heat until really crispy. Great, nutritional crisp replacements.
8. Miss Miso Miss Out
Miso paste is an excellent source of dietary fiber (59%) and protein (64% DV), as well as a good source of minerals . Miso paste is also high in amino acids, the basic building blocks of protein. An excellent source of vitamin K and a decent source of riboflavin (38% DV), miso also provides small amounts of other vitamins. One major benefit of miso is its extremely high omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acid content.
9.Bosh a Few Plums Off!
Umeboshi plums are considered good for digestion, prevention of nausea, and for systemic toxicity, including hangovers. The citric acid acts as an antibacterial, helps to increase saliva production and assists in the digestion of rice
10. Konnyak Who?
Konnyaku is used in making shirataki noodles. It is an ideal food for weight control since Konnyaku expands in the digestive system and gives the feeling that the stomach is full. At the same time, Konnyaku cleans toxins in the intestines.
*sushisushi uses verified sources and believes this information to be correct. If any of these facts are found to be incorrect, sushisushi takes no responsibility.
Sushi makes for a great starter for Christmas day and it’s a great way to use your leftovers.
As followers of sushisushi will know, we like to promote sushi as being a very adaptable food. It really is! Seasoned rice goes with anything, sweet or savoury. So instead of bashing out another turkey curry this year, why not make turkey sushi, with cranberries and all the trimmings? Sushi also makes a great starter on Christmas day. Use festive ingredients like figs, dates or even sprout sushi!
Use food colouring to give your sushi a Christmas look. A touch of red wine can be used to colour, and flavour your rice, or add a drop of red food colouring to salmon or tuna. With a green wasabi blob, your sushi starter will be a colourful way to start the day! The adventurous among you could even make little Christmas tree sushi pyramids. Garnish with cranberries, blueberries and balls of wasabi.
Whatever you decide to make, sushisushi wishes you a very happy Christmas and a wonderful New Year!
Whether you are celebrating Halloween with a bang, or getting spooked out for bonfire night, sushi is the perfect partner to enjoy through the Autumn festivities.
Pumpkin Sushi
Instead of making pumpkin soup this year, why not make sushi with your pumpkin? It’s a perfect vegetable for sushi, with a touch of pepper to give it a kick. You can make a roll with just the pulp and then wrap this in another roll like on the picture, or just mix in the pulp with your rice. Carefully cut out pieces of nori for the eyes and mouth and there you have it. A sweet but spooky treat!
Toffee Apple Nigiri
Remember sushi is great for desserts as well as a tasty lunch or evening snack! This is a juicy Japanese twist on the Bonfire night favourite. Simply skin and core an apple and cut into thin pieces, pop on top of a piece of nigiri sushi and pour on enough toffee sauce to cover the apple and sink into the rice. Pop in the fridge until hardened and serve!
Trick or Sushi Treat?
Imagination is the key to making a success of this one and the kids will love it if you do! (Please post any pics on our Facebook page!) Make nigiri sushi and add horrifying toppings to scare your trick or treaters! Cut out nori into bat shapes, make ghostly eyeballs out of beetroot and cucumber, with red food colouring to make a bloody affect. Turn a prawn into a bloody finger, make tamago into the shape of a ghost and add eyes. Like I said, the only limits are your imagination!
Miso and Pumpkin Soup
We haven’t tried this one but are pretty sure it will work a treat to warm up your cockles on bonfire night. The salt of miso mixed with the sweetness of condensed pumpkin is sure to work a treat. Please let us know if you try it!
Instead of making pumpkin soup this year, why not make sushi with your pumpkin? It’s a perfect vegetable for sushi, with a touch of pepper to give it a kick. You can make a roll with just the pulp and then wrap this in another roll like on the picture, or just mix in the pulp with your rice. Carefully cut out pieces of nori for the eyes and mouth and there you have it. A sweet but spooky treat!
